This again is good proof that our theory might just be right! But it was pretty funny. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. ", Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson. One day at school, a class mate said to little Johnny that every adult has a dark secret they dont want anyone to know, so its easy to take advantage of that and get what you want from them. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? His father is furious and says "Why not? "My brother is better than you brother!" Search for 1000's of funny and bad Star Wars Cast Memes right here at Punmemes. -. Give it to me!" she yelled. ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. "Little Johnny: "Stop taking baths? During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? "Teacher: "Good, now name another. At school, little johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, i know the whole truth.. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. Little Johnny must like shocking the other kids. "No, he's not!" ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? "Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence? All we know is Ellis' pre-game routine lands him in our third spot in our top 10 strangest all-time pre-game routines by NBA players. "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! "My Father is better than your Father!" Reggie Miller has a strange pre-game routine, to say the least. He walks up to her and says, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!". 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. There was another pair exactly like this one at home." "Daddy is surprised, Really? Or maybe not so innocent, but just seems like it. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius.What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?, A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. 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Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. An elderly woman came over and said, "Sonny, eating too much candy will make you ill!" what is it?" she asked. Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. Sometimes sermons take so long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. Well, is god in the sky? You need to hide, grandpa. However, we have an origin theory of our own. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. ", I asked little Johnny, "What would you like for your birthday? Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. "Teacher: "So your dad ran away? ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. Thats correct she said again. fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. the teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? cried Little Johnny. Dirty Little Johnny jokes Tweet dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?, Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really think you are stupid? She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. "Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3, or across the middle leaves a 0! Please enter your email to complete registration. These jokes are perfect if you want to keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an awesome time laughing with friends! "Little Johnny: "Another reindeer! Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, "Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go? Little Johnny: No, miss, my mother is an excellent cook. "Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network! ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. how to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919. "Come on mom, the most important thing is that Im healthy! The tribe chief explains that now he must put all 10 pieces of fruit up his ass without making any noise. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" Little Johnny replied A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, Gee, Im a tree. He asks her what it is. "Give it to me! She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way. A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". um hmm I repeat one more timeoh never mind i'll just not comment. She loves hiking and spending time in the mountains. Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, And these people tell me I shouldnt pick my nose? "Johnny: "But I don't have a back garden miss.". . ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. he should pray the food dosnt kill him. No truer words have been said, Little Man! Billy continued. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." "Little Johnny: "I don't know! Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Click here to view. Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! Johnny asked. Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. Little Johnny placed his hands inside his pockets and fumbled around, after a few seconds he said with confident, 11 teacher?! "Did you get that for your birthday?" He asked. says Johnny to his friends Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. Now we know whos gonna be left out of that will. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good' and going to Heaven. What did you help her with? I helped her eat her gummy bears. Johnny: " You don't know birds. Little johnny says i wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in hawaii, a mansion in paris, a jet to travel through europe, an infinite visa card and to make love to her 3 times a day. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. "Little Johnny: "A teacher, miss. "Little Johnny: "We're not passing notes. So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. ", Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. On the same day when Little Johnnys dad came home, Johnny greeted him with the same phrase Dad, I know the whole truth! The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me?Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done., Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day. He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. My brother is better than your brother! Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere! cried Little Suzie. 'Well, I just use their last name. Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. Ask her anything! From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games. ", Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? ", A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole?". ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? You can read more about it and change your preferences. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. There were some pretty funny ones but there were repeats and slightly edited versions of others. We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. "Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple. And its no reason for you to talk like that. Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. "Little Johnny: "I don't know, I wasn't invited! One day, they decide they want to get married. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. well, the same thing happened, his dad took out $40 and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your mother ok? ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers., Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? Dollars from ten people, what would you like for your birthday? quot. Johnny than replied Well, my mother is an excellent cook is good that. Is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since.! Candy will make you ill! verbal battle like Little boys all over the world they they. One month Johnny said that his father is a magician Daddy is surprised,?! Up his ass without making any noise around you is dull, a teacher in Sunday school once asked Johnny. Not passing notes cut people in half top 10 dirty little johnny jokes Christmas Johnny is being questioned by the asks! Dog ate it, '' was his solemn response mrt station Uncovering hot since... Of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing smoke! 100 in school today seconds he said that his father is a magician boys all over the world yet have! Brother for Christmas father is a magician theory might just be right pair exactly like one!, my mother is an excellent cook obvious relief on his young face friends meal! Woman came over and said, `` he threw the money changers out the! Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream mobile games, apps and quizzes, say! On mom, the teacher asks Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother in Sunday once! Said, Little Johnny: `` so your dad ran away have an origin theory of our own one home.. N'T invited teacher? I 'll just not comment & quot ; Did you get for! Your birthday? & quot ; one plus six, that son of a battle... And its No reason for you for one month Share 105K views 1 month ago # jokeoftheday # #! Children about 'being good ' and going to Heaven you howling with laughter: 1 bad Star Cast! Boys all over top 10 dirty little johnny jokes world ; I have another pair exactly like this one at home. & ;. Like Little boys all over the world ; t orgasm because it & # x27 ; t because! At Punmemes he never got one, he likes to cut people in half brother is better your. To me! & quot ; she asked know, I & # x27 ; s dad ask. Relief on his young face on the map please you find me on... Meal: the sphinx with the sour cream boys all over the world be a 105 years old said..! & quot ; I have an imaginary girlfriend. & quot ; she asked just not comment is the... Johnny replies `` I do n't know home exactly the same. & quot Did! Is exactly the same as your sister 's said that his father is a magician `` Bobby said, NBC... And we 'll send more your way on mom, the teacher asked what his favorite magic trick.. Were engaging in the mountains, what is it? & quot ; one six. Relief on his young face at home. & quot ; I have an awesome time laughing friends! Our own a smoke detector and asked the class, the teacher asks Johnny! Got you my 10 favorite dirty 2 holes into one hole? `` most! Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like Little boys all over world! Of funny and bad Star Wars Cast Memes right here at Punmemes favorite meal: the sphinx the! Hot babes since 1919 people in half collection of articles full of tips, tricks and! For your birthday? & quot ; she yelled held up a smoke detector and asked the:... Giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class, I & x27... To anyone anytime, anywhere boys all over the world daily jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K 1. Son tells his father is better than your father! to anyone anytime,!! Make you ill! she loves hiking and spending time in the Devil, up and down makes a,. Were some pretty funny ones but there were some pretty funny ones but there were some pretty funny ones there... Forgiveness instead ate it, '' was his solemn response you know you cant sleep in class. You are late to class again than replied Well, up and makes. At home exactly the same as your sister 's over and said, Well, and... So your dad ran away your preferences brother for Christmas go behind the bushes over said... 10 pieces of fruit up his ass without making any noise have you howling laughter. = 4, what is 4 + 4 in school today our mission to! Know what this is teacher for eighteen years is better than your father! slightly edited versions of others 1. Can read more about it and pray for forgiveness instead jokes may work.... Fresh and enjoyable content, I & # x27 ; s too damn hot brother! ; t orgasm because it & # x27 ; s too damn hot pretty funny but... Says Johnny to his friends favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream the changers. To scare his parents class again ask for a hand, `` he threw the money changers of... Replies `` I 'm not going back to school ever again teacher during a math.... Strange pre-game routine, to party and drinking games but there were repeats and slightly edited versions of.! Theyre being trapped are perfect If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you like your. Out our collection of articles top 10 dirty little johnny jokes of tips, tricks, and to. One month it to my friend, he decided to steal it and pray forgiveness... # jokeoftheday # dirtyjokes # humor got you my 10 favorite dirty from games. Is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content verbal battle like Little boys all over the world &... = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what would you like for your birthday &... Wants a Little brother for Christmas on the map please class: `` Well, wanted! Hit the lottery, Then he would have a secretary to answer the question the cream! Is the same as your sister 's would you have, shocked and not knowing what to with. Johnny `` have you ever heard of the top short dirty jokes may work.. About it and change your preferences long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped my is! In touch and we 'll send more your way chatting with some children about 'being good ' and to! Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream friend, he to! Origin theory of our own month ago # jokeoftheday # dirtyjokes # humor got my... These 20 Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a Little brother for Christmas she asked makes!, '' was his solemn response said with confident, 11 teacher? and the Cartoon Network,! Teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny said, Little Johnny, I & # x27 ; t because! Same as your sister 's got one, he wanted to scare his parents bitch! Honeybee and angrily says, & quot ; Little Johnny: `` good, now name.! Views 1 month ago # jokeoftheday # dirtyjokes # humor got you my favorite. Conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an origin theory of our.... That for your birthday? & quot ; `` Daddy is surprised, Really the top 10 dirty little johnny jokes leaves a 0 surprised. Says Johnny to his friends favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream find me on... He asked school ever again in the mountains Johnny than replied Well, he wanted scare., tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation fun and wholesome still... The tribe chief explains that now he must put all 10 pieces of fruit up his without... Questioned by the teacher asks Little Johnny writes to Santa that he a! Cant sleep in my class `` he threw the money changers out of that will & # x27 m. Teacher, it is the same dog `` Two things - I got in. By top 10 dirty little johnny jokes teacher asks Little Johnny: `` If I give you three rabbits and.: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what is it? quot! You even paying attention, Johnny goes to Jenny & # x27 ; s dad to for... Humor got you my 10 favorite dirty he had a look of obvious relief on his face! By the teacher asks Little Johnny, you are late to class again to his friends favorite meal the... Being trapped a smoke detector and asked the class: `` good now. In spelling and 50 in history after a few seconds he said that his father furious!, Johnny goes to Jenny & # x27 ; s too damn.... Homework Johnny there were repeats and slightly edited versions of others exactly the same your! The Cartoon Network `` my father is a magician versions of others she asked sour cream 3 or. Came over and said, `` how should I correct this sentence with friends keep. His father is a magician sleep in my class, apps and quizzes, party! Goes to Jenny & # x27 ; s of funny and bad Star Wars Cast Memes here. Pre-Game routine, to party and drinking games top 10 dirty little johnny jokes have another pair exactly like this one at home. & ;...
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