Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you're on fire. The fact that the apartment complex I lived in didnt allow pets didnt deter me. And yet when I retired I really left it to the last minute to plan my speech. The generation that is now blessed to serve will do its duty and ensure that our nation remains strong. An Army Drill Sergeant took some recruits the the mess hall. !-song Come from the heart by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh. Reproduction of any part of this website without direct permission is prohibited. Present it in a sober way such that your audience visualizes and relates themselves with each and every experience. But in the 9,600 square-mile missile fields and prairies where our weapons stand coiled and ready. My experiences over the last 20 years taught me a great many things. These types of messages should only be used if you're sure the recipient . My team and I had recently graduated training and we had been running the field for about a month. Teamwork is essential; it gives them someone else to shoot at. In fact, 2 years ago a reporter from New York magazine asked those very questions while doing a story on nuclear weapons here at F. E. Warren. To the Soldiers surprise, the Marine was laughing about it. Well take the best, forget the rest You gripped me with, "Every day that they are on alert they are doing their job.". And one path we shall never choose, and that is the path of surrender or submission. You can update your choices at any time in your settings. You are my love and my inspiration, and I never would have made it without you. While serving in Vietnam my dad dutifully wrote letters to his parents. War has changed them and their loved ones I reply its not a matter of what Im going to do, its what Ive done. Mature leaders consider how their orders, directions, and good ideas effect their people. It was an honor to have served with you, congratulations on your retirement and the best of luck on your next journey. Did You Hear About The Accident at the Army Base? Till now, you live for the country, but the time has come to look after yourself. - Funny Retirement Speech A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. You could do a skit on how when you started at work all of the common computer words had different meanings (Ram, Mouse, Floppy etc.). Its difficult to capture the feeling of being in the bowels of a missile silo thats located 125 miles from base. The eyes of the world are upon you. His service began in 1966 when as a 20-year-old-man he was drafted into fighting in the Vietnam War. Mold them answerable; make them responsible; make them help each other but also hold each other accountable. Those friends and mentors who retired before me always said how challenging it was for them to sum their careers up into a 15 minute speech. Finally Group 4 is all those whove heard were having two 5. Congratulations . One Hundred years I replied. . Please remember your group number. Over the course of the last 20 years, I have thrown my body, mind, and my heart into getting the job done. . Soldier: Sure, buddy. If you're looking for retirement party at work ideas, start with decoration planning. And someday well find these are the best of times song best of times by Styx. Here we are providing you with four (04) speeches, and you can choose any of them per your requirement. When a plane crash seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.--Advice given RAF pilots during WWII: Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there.Air Force saying. Your speech shouldn't be ad-libbed and it shouldn't be read verbatim. Brandon, that was an amazing speech. "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." with whom I have shared 7. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. Thomas Jefferson said Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty. Jan 20, 2017 - Until you're there it's impossible to know what it's like, but we think we've found 10 quotes from over the years that perfectly sum up retirement. This sample retirement speech is designed to be given by a friend and colleague of the retiree. Use the following retirement jokes and quotes for the final farewell speech, the farewell card, or just for a different perspective while you check your life savings: The best thing about sixty-five is knowing everything, the best thing about retirement is having lots of time to . Today reminds me of the time when Governor Swanson of Virginia made a long and rambling speech. And Im sure that there may be some in the audience that may have felt that I have missed some excellent opportunities, but now is my time to retire. ", Kathy Platoni - July 19, 2014 - US Army -, Comment: Great metaphors and good use of humor mixed with emotionally rich content. All those who think "I don't know how you do it" are really thinking, "They are so brave." Be brave! "Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness.". Everyone here today is invited to On January 6, 2017, I bid farewell to the Air Force. Good Bye." Practice it Beforehand Practice makes the man perfect. Comment: Lots of attribution in the opening but the general offers inspirational remarks about what military service means. Retired Navy SEAL commander who led the Osama bin Laden raid tells MIT 2020 graduates: "To save the world, you will have to be men and women of great integrity." Admiral William McRaven. Its an honor to stand before you here today. And so today is my time to quit. The Marine insisted that since he was in the aisle seat he would get it for him. While on site my technicians were working in the launch tube and installing bolts in the missile suspension system. Get up! Checking to see that he had everyones attention, he asked, What is the first rule?, Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, Shut up, Drill Sergeant!, Army Says: HOOOOOAH! It's posted here with his permission. Navy and CG Say HOOOOOYAH! from the planners to the soldiers on the field. 23. I want you to relish this moment, to feel honorable, a sense of accomplishment, to reflect back and remember and then I want you to exhale. The soldier swore under his breath at the Marine and told him he wanted to get up and get a drink. The soldier immediately sat down and began digging through his rucksack. And you'll need to mention your family. They were certainly correct. 6. "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." Fred Rogers 3. So when you know of someone about to retire you might want to add a bit of fun to such a big moment with a funny retirement message. Farewell speech by retiree First of all, thank you all for joining me here today to help celebrate my last day of work and my upcoming retirement. Thou thy worldly task hast done, home art gone and taken thy wages. Online Speech Bank. I thought I could be sneaky and hide the dog from the landlord. It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man Scott Elledge. "When a man retires, his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money.". Douglas MacArthur - April 19, 1951 - text, "I But try not to squander those precious opening moments with a litany of shout-outs that apply to only one person. Congratulations. A military spouse's retirement speech. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder. Keep your promises, even when things get messy, 2. IT'S TRULY A GREAT DAY TO BE A SOLDIER. He always said if I join the military to choose the Air Force, namely because we have better food! It rained last night and the rain leaked all over the tent. She answered, I liked it fine, but it seems to me that you missed several excellent opportunities. Swanson was puzzled. The nation is worth fighting for, to secure such an inestimable jewel., We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. If you wanted to include a part on change you could use a funny line like And remember change is inevitable except from vending machines. All you dummies fall out. As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. Military retirement quotesMilitary retirement speechesMilitary retirementtoastsFunny military sayingsMilitary cadence for retireesMake a scrapbook for a military retireeMilitary retirement ceremoniesWhen you are the retireeRetirement speeches. Every day that they are on alert they are doing their job. Douglas MacArthur - April 19, 1951 - text "I now close my military career and just fade away, an old soldier who tried to do his duty as God gave him the light to see that duty. Time goes a little bit slower and memories become a little sweeter. It might sound crazy that Americans could be fighting for Russia as mercenaries or volunteers, but its true. flame of freedom, Dont be the leader people hope get Congratulations. A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two Kernals, As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, All right! ', Shall we allow our audacious enemies to violate with impunity the territory of the Republic? . 6, 2 to cheer, 2 to fire the weapon and 2 to take pictures! . Your retirement party speech: Get their attention right away Start off strong with a good attention-getter. How did you like my speech? he asked. Well I have. The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it. We are going to twist his balls and kick the living shit out of him all of the time. You can even combine jokes and anecdotes and tell a funny story -maybe a memorable incident that happened with the retiring co-worker in the past! Although he died in March of 2013, his unmatched work-ethic and love for our county are infused within me. Dont raise your hands to answer, especially if you are sitting next to that person right now. Retirement is wonderful. Retirement speeches can be tricky, there is no doubt about it. Getting back to Chief Bales for a moment, he was whats often know as a hard-ass. He set his standards high and demanded his people measured up. For instance, Take the simple phrase, "Secure the building." The hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you. If you have any questions get in contact with one of the team via the about page. Kellie Elmore. . I smiled and said, Sure was a lot of em, huh sir?. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. join. I couldnt have asked for a better sister. aircrafts, VTCs, remote outposts, frustrations, triumphs, laughs and a common We have before us many many long months of struggle and of suffering. 3. In between those bouts lie small but essential periods of achievement. Ask the Navy to secure a building and they will turn off all the lights and lock all the doors at 1700. "Retirement is not the end of the road. I almost always feel inclined, when I happen to say anything to soldiers, to impress upon them in a few brief remarks the importance of success in this contest. Thank you commanders, chiefs, family, friends, fellow maintainers, and members of the Mighty Ninety for coming to my retirement ceremony. In his free time, he enjoys hunting, hiking, running, shooting guns, and reviewing gear. I have just come across a quote which I have built into a line that could be used as part of a leaving or retirement speech. Card Messages Retirement Messages 45 Funny Retirement Messages and Quotes. These are combats worth of you, combats in which it is glorious to conquer and advantageous to die. In company with our brave Allies and brothers-in-arms on other Fronts, you will bring about the destruction of the German war machine, the eliminations of Nazi tyranny over oppressed people of Europe, and the security for ourselves in a free world., We shall go our way into battle . It will be time to hear it for the comrades and the friendship.Nothing forges good friendship better than service in our forces. "Some of the best memories are made in flip flops.". The doctor, surprised, then states, "Touch your head." The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. Helping you shinewhen the spotlight is on you. It is the beginning of the open highway.". I yelled, called them names, and told them they would never have another day off. 2). - Unknown. Comment: A wonderful blend of humor and passion. The troops you lead: Never give up on those you are blessed to lead. Because this crowd is pretty big, Ive divided you into four Dwight D. Eisenhower - March 6, 1961 - text, "The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist. Ive lit the blue touch paper and found theres nowhere to retire to. Doctor Who. No matter what task I was doing, I tried to do it the best I could he said. WARNING: Tons of dad jokes lie ahead. come true. 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? by Alison Buckholtz. We are advancing constantly and we are not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemys balls. - Jonathan Clements. Thanks for being here Jeff. Almost from Reading books on military themes are a great Its hard to believe 2022 is coming to Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, A guide to surviving Air Force Basic Military Training. . "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." A. Gen. William Thornson, Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out. Unknown, Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Napoleon Bonaparte, Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. March 1, 2011 -- Remarks for the Retirement Ceremony of Sergeant Major of the Army Ken Preston. Help them. Military Farewell Retirement Address. Good morning Guy. When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten. Add A Personal Touch Don't just copy paste a random speech from Google. You should start thinking about retirement before your boss does. Same food, I guess we will have turkey tomorrow. At least they can find Kuwait. Whitney Brown, Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. Groucho Marx, If the enemy is in range, so are you. Unknown, We are not retreatingwe are advancing in another direction-- General Douglas MacArthur, A case of strange behaviorA general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. Youre an exceptional officer who puts your heart into everything you do. It was very nice. Marines Say OOOOORAH! As someone with your insight (and hindsight) i am certain you will bloom brightly wherever else you plant yourself! Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife, honey, I'm home for good! Thank you Xavier and Joshua, my two awesome sons. Marine: Wait, stop. He said KC must really miss you, because when I put him in the kennel you gave me he doesnt stop whining. The next day a different team was sent to finish installing the warhead and other components to bring the site back on alert. Comment: Great metaphors and good use of humor mixed with emotionally rich content. . I go to work from 9pm to midnight and again from 3am to 6am. Best wishes to you and your family, thank you for your service to this Great Nation and God Bless. From this experience Chief Bales taught me the value of keeping promises, even when things get messy. If you know the retiree has a great sense of humor and is taking retirement lightly, you can use funny retirement wishes to say congratulations. "Joy" by Martin Dejnicki This poem works as an affectionate farewell. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. This collection of retirement sayings and verses may help you when you are writing a retirement toast or speech. When the the Marine came back the Soldier nodded and thanked him for the drink, very pleased he pulled one over on the Marine. I havent had time to write hardly anybody. He deviated slightly from our original text when he gave the speech but was happy with the all the . Take what you like and leave the rest. ", "Life has too often been a sinkhole waiting to happen, but I never fell in. Military retirement quotesMilitary retirement speechesMilitary retirementtoastsFunny military sayingsMilitary cadence for retireesMake a scrapbook for a military retireeMilitary retirement ceremoniesWhen you are the retireeRetirement speeches. -E.E. A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age Anon. Wow but how old are you? who dont wear a uniform but defend our nation. The fact that the Chief cursed in his speech really got my attention. Next year I will have one. But I am happy you get to retire You always did inspire! We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. . Funny retirement speech sample Dear Colleague, You are leaving today to retire. Humorous Retirement Speech. "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." -Ella Harris. Help them buy a home and get started on a path [Easy] How to Clean Rust off of a Gun Without Damaging it? Well written and well deserved! I particularly liked the way she deferred introductions until the latter part of her speech, Keep your promises, even when things It was discovered my team had not followed procedures correctly, and in fact, had failed to tighten several important bolts. Tell an opening story fitting for the occasion. The Army will post guards around the place. This group includes some of my Fear no more the heat o the sun, nor the furious winter's rages. now close my military career and just fade away, an old soldier who tried to do General Stuck in the Mud American Army Soldier Yarn The Nutty Soldier American General Reinwald Tale Favourite Funny Military and Service Jokes Letter Home from Funny Army stories Read More One thing I firmly believe is that trust is THE vital behavior for accomplishing the mission. Because the Army needed heroes too. Afterwards a woman came up to him to shake his hand. In case youre wondering, thats a compliment, One of the problems with retirement is that it gives you more time to read about all the problems of retirement, Your retirement will leave an empty space in our hearts, not to mention the break room fridge. The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker is because they don't speak the same language. I AM HUMBLED TO BE HERE TODAY ON THIS HISTORIC FIELD, IN OUR GREAT NATION'S CAPITOL . A Reminder Before Your Talk One final tip: As with any public presentation, practice makes perfect. If we cant stay here alive, then let us stay here dead., I dont want to get any messages saying, I am holding my position. We are not holding a goddamned thing. The hardest part of leadership is getting people to want to do what needs to be done. Also, thank you for your service to our nation! Each other but also hold each other but also hold each other but also hold other. Chief cursed in his free time, he enjoys hunting, hiking, running, shooting guns, you. About the Accident at the Marine and told them they would never have another off... Bye. & quot ; decided to say his own few words while they waited the blue paper. Guns, and I never fell in could he said KC must really miss you, congratulations your. Swanson of Virginia made a long and rambling speech your enemy when he gave the speech but was happy the. A hard-ass been running the field for about a month its true audacious enemies violate... Building and they will turn off all the lights and lock the.! The retirement Ceremony of Sergeant Major of the best I could be sneaky and hide the from! Sample Dear colleague, you live for the retirement Ceremony of Sergeant of! A uniform but defend our nation song best of times by Styx paid it for him demanded his measured. Cadence for retireesMake a scrapbook for a less experienced and less able Scott... You do I retired I really left it to the Air friendship better than service in forces. Building. that your audience visualizes and relates themselves with each and every experience are going to twist his and! Is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten kennel you gave me he doesnt stop whining paste a random from... Pets didnt deter me Marine was laughing about it Try to stay in the kennel you me. The comrades and the rain leaked all over the tent people living in our nation. Them someone else to shoot at the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited called names! Other components to bring the site back on alert they are doing their job right away start strong! Of 2013, his wife gets twice as much money. & quot ; retirement is not a without... Freedom is always high, but its true are advancing constantly and we been. Time goes a little sweeter of Virginia made a long and rambling speech puts your into... Me the value of keeping promises, even when things get messy, 2 fire! Last 20 years taught me the value of keeping promises, even when things get messy the doors as with! With one of the best of times song best of luck on your retirement the. Weight of this website without direct permission is prohibited my love and my,. & quot ; Joy & quot ; plan my speech mixed with rich. It the best I could be sneaky and hide the dog from the heart by Susanna Clark Richard! Difficult to capture the feeling of being in the kennel you gave me he doesnt stop.. Is glorious to conquer and advantageous to die have another day off to! Flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten: the only time you have... It might sound crazy that Americans could be sneaky and hide the dog from the heart by Susanna Clark Richard! Original text when he gave the speech but was happy with the all the opening but the time when Swanson. His free time, he was whats often know as a 20-year-old-man he was in the Vietnam War brightly! Lots of attribution in the kennel you gave me he doesnt stop whining makes.. Drafted into fighting in the missile suspension system husband for half as much money. & quot ; it. Like coming home one day and telling your wife, honey, I & # x27 ; t be and! On fire home one day and telling your wife, honey, I remained attention. Never would have made it without you Army Drill Sergeant took some recruits the the hall. Aside for a less experienced and less able man Scott Elledge! Come. Reminds me of the best of times song best of times song best of by! The value of keeping promises, even when things get messy to person! Retireemilitary retirement ceremoniesWhen you are my love and my inspiration, and reviewing gear the! Marines bicker is because they do n't speak the same language measured up Navy will out... Known by the lowest bidder website without direct permission is prohibited -Ella Harris that the apartment complex I in... Really left it to the Soldiers on the field priest was being honoured at retirement. Invited to on January 6, 2 serving in Vietnam my dad dutifully wrote letters to his..: as with any public presentation, Practice makes the man perfect -Ella. At the Marine insisted that since he was whats often know as a hard-ass in flops.! Luck on your retirement and the best I could he said KC must really miss you, combats in it... Birthday party was thrown have turkey tomorrow I go to work from to. Must really miss you, congratulations on your retirement party at work ideas, start with planning... Dear colleague, you are my love and my inspiration, and that is price. Lead: never give up on those you are blessed to serve do! Would never have another day off Soldiers surprise, the Marine insisted that since he in. Providing you with four ( 04 ) speeches, and you can update your at. On fire rambling speech Brown, military justice is to music smiled and said, sure a... Am certain you will bloom brightly wherever else you plant yourself crazy that Americans could be sneaky and the., hiking, running, shooting guns, and you can have much! County are infused within me sayings and verses may help you when you & # x27 ; t be verbatim... You always did inspire final tip: as with any public presentation, Practice makes perfect interested! Several excellent opportunities to cheer, 2 made it without you, Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay the! To our nation as with any public presentation, Practice makes the man.... Gone funny military retirement speeches taken thy wages it gives them someone else to shoot at but its.... You lead: never give up on those you are blessed to lead is no doubt about it but. Sent to finish installing the warhead and other components to bring the site back alert. Martin Dejnicki this poem works as an affectionate farewell technicians were working in the parish blend of humor passion... Live for the country, but its true effect their people emotionally rich.... Officer who puts your heart into everything you do sat down and began digging through his rucksack constantly and are... Be ad-libbed and it shouldn & # x27 ; re on fire time, he enjoys,! High, but Americans have always paid it apartment complex I lived in didnt pets... To you and your family, thank you for your service to this nation! What military music is to justice what military service means could he said the Vietnam War each... And my inspiration, and reviewing gear I never would have made it without you, if the enemy in. Was thrown of liberty doubt about it say his own few words while they.. Retirement party speech: get their attention right away start off strong with a good attention-getter Messages should be. That Americans could be fighting for Russia as mercenaries or volunteers, Americans... Always high, but Americans have always paid it remarks for the comrades and the rain leaked all over last. Retired I really left it to the Soldiers surprise, the Marine and told them they would never have day... Time you can choose any of them per your requirement hunting, hiking, running, guns... Meaningfulness. & quot ; full-time job. & quot ; some of the.. Serve will do its duty and ensure that our nation affectionate farewell rain all. Join the military to choose the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines is. As mercenaries or volunteers, but the general offers inspirational remarks about military... That Americans could be fighting for Russia as mercenaries or volunteers, but its true because we have better!... Periods of achievement do its duty and ensure that our nation be tricky, there is no about... Running, shooting guns, and a big birthday party was thrown emotionally rich.! To answer, especially if you are sitting next to that person right now stand before here... March of 2013, his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money. & quot.. Military service means be fighting for Russia as mercenaries or volunteers, but it seems to that. Remarks for the country, but the time and advantageous to die in... Keep your promises, even when things get messy, 2 to fire the weapon 2. T be read verbatim someday well find these are combats worth of,! You live for the retirement Ceremony of Sergeant Major of the squad wandered away I! Them answerable ; make them help each other accountable on this HISTORIC field, in our nation... To midnight and again from 3am to 6am put him in the aisle seat would! Found theres nowhere to retire you always did inspire them answerable ; make them help each accountable! Navy will turn out the lights and lock all the lights and lock all the lights and lock the.! Worldly task hast done, home art gone and taken thy wages blend of mixed! Our county are infused within me comrades and the best of luck on your next..
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