Am I brave enough to chase what I want, or scarier yet, let go of something less? My brain hurt and I wondered if Id found its capacity when I was informed that it was now time to change the physical look of my hands while they were doing the impossible. As believers, we have the power of Christ within us and when we are rooted, standing firm in our identity, it is a force that can withstand anything. But a covert does want you to feel sympathy. Anyone who knows me well knows that I play devils advocate for just about anyone. This season, 11 incredible survivors share their stories of shocking life discoveries and the recovery from them. Claim and edit this page to your liking. More and more, constant intake. What ensues is a genuinely improvised and authentic conversation filled with laughter and newfound knowledge to feed the SmartLess mind. We dont belong to sin or the world. We belong to Him. For various reasons, we often try to convince ourselves that we deserve less than our dreams. I closed the door and sat down, turning the fan and faucet on so he wouldnt hear me crying and praying. A classic N doesnt want sympathy because they view themselves as above it. Eventually, I became one of those things weighing him down and needed to be more aware of it (according to his friend Kimmy Jane Powers). We find our own ways to ask, Am I enough?. For years, my MO has been to sit back and wait before acting. Nothing to make an escape outwardly justifiable to the public. I stand by what I said about not changing a thing. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free on Amazon Music included with Prime. Seriously, DONT. Youre easier to read than you think. The more conversations Im having with people in similar situations, the more amazed I am by their resiliency and strength. Me. (Im obviously an empathetic person, but even I secretly rolled my eyes in those moments!) Welcome to a spiritual war. Their stories will be told in an episodic format meaning more inspiring stories and less cliffhangers. Every breezy, golden memory now had the word FRAUD painted in red. In fact, many times he had opportunities to share grace and love with those who had differing beliefs, and instead he cornered and shamed them, calling them out. Enough to let go and be free. ! instead of Oh Happy Day or something. Listen to Season 9 of Something Was Wrong now and subscribe to hear the next chapter of their story every Thursday. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. You will be inundated with why I love this company and my job. I went about my bachelorette party the next day ready to have fun, with no idea that Sunday held the exposure of massive lies. Im thankful for this past year, because my God is quickly turning a dark time completely around into something beautiful. What would life look like if we didnt think so highly of ourselves that the possibility of failure (more like a guarantee at some point) wasnt so unthinkable? He said, to be honest Im strongly considering heading back home. (It had taken him 3 hours in traffic to get to my house.) (If girls were single, they were waiting. I was preparing to become the helpmeet my dream guy was looking for, instead of calling it living my dang life.). He also called people out and shocked a culture by giving women a voice. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesSources:https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violencehttps://www.nsvrc.org/statisticshttps://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.htmlTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Make it sing! Carry that note with finger 2, not 3! Ok thats wild fast! So.What Else? Its fine, Ill just spend the weekend at home. The Bishops, OBrians, and Johnsons were your typical, picture-perfect family friends, until a tragedy revealed the cracks right below the surface. Itll never fit. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Its still happening. Some patterns of abuse possibly even before Dick was on the scene. I added much to his life. But that song that plays at the intro and the end. Somehow hed known this comment would get under my skin. Lots of good ones but this is the best! Taking things personally yet again. Even the sister does. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. I can see why people write the whole thing off, especially after hearing about how I allowed my dog to be treated. National Domestic Violence hotline 1-800-799-7233 Tee befriends Sylvia and feels compelled to help her. Wrote fake letters to his future wife to disguise who he is? A month or so before the wedding, he started this game around withholding affection. For those wondering and asking, I truly am doing well! Hope: the day light broke through the trees and warmth poured in. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free on Amazon Music included with Prime. seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. We were at Blue Bottle in Oakland when he called someone fat out loud well within earshot of that person, and I began scanning the doors for my exit strategy. With opening the eyes of anyone who reads this and needs it, because your freedom and empowerment matters. Despite many strange circumstances in Joes personal life, it was the best relationship Kenzie had ever hadBut when her loved ones began to suspect Joe wasnt at all who he said he was, they came together to uncover his secrets and save their friend just in the nick of time. I have nothing to lose by sharing His story but maybe some pride, which I have to kill. ), (There were too many blinders on at that point to recognize that life will ALWAYS throw curveballs testing the patience of myself and the person Im with. but decided on a whim to got back to season one and listen to Sara's whole story. Sara discusses the discovery of Dick's ex girlfriends and how answers help the healing process. My ex could quote Scripture backward and forward, hold theological discussions with church leadership, and was quick to deconstruct the flaws in any given churchs infrastructure. Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher. Found her IG. When I tried to explain that I tempered my excitement after noticing he seemed down and I didnt want to be insensitive, he shook his head like I was being silly and trying to cover something he could see right through. Used fake people to pressure a woman to marry him? "SmartLess" with Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, & Will Arnett is a podcast that connects and unites people from all walks of life to learn about shared experiences through thoughtful dialogue and organic hilarity. Curated Podcasts. Josh and Chuck have you covered. r/podcasts: a subreddit to discover, discuss, and review podcasts with other podcast enthusiasts. Some might be a complex mix of both sides depending on the day and their mood or emotional state. Although I sort of saw the humor in it (because I was open & trusted where I stood with him), looking back, it made me feel hurt, insecure and confused around how to play along. Real-Time. Its easy! All I remember is apologizing just to end the mess, him chuckling at my overreacting while continuing to fold clothes, and our night moving on. So how quickly did I choose other things once church was canceled? Seeing our potential and discovering what were truly capable of. It wont always be super serious around here. linktr.ee/spaceandpurpose He was so soft. One moment his extended family was super close in a way I could never understand. In the next, it wasnt worth visiting them because they were going to kick the bucket soon. In private, (more as time went on), there was a heaviness or something often weighing him down that I felt the need to support. Find similar podcasts. He responds. reviewed: Something Was Wrong Love the podcast. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Story of Dick & Sara has me reeling! Agreed. It seeks out keys to their carefully guarded hearts, then handles them with great care until theyre granted full access. Sara moved way too fast in this relationship and she hopefully learned something at 30. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w Listen Later. I dont feel wanted here. It doesnt have to impress anyone elsewhich I wrestle with. Not my service or even faithfulness with what He gave me before He has my attention first. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Popular shows today. He would flip things quickly on anyone who dared question him. Something Was Wrong is an award winning docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. I remember my piano instructor taking me so far beyond what I thought a piece could possibly require from a pianists hands and brain. One of the things I value most is treasuring the personal information of my friends. Jesus said to approach Him as children do. Here are some notes I took and their associated memories: This is all a spectrum of a disorder. I love it, and so I feel really nit picky for pointing out the music. This group is all for free speech, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse or adjacent behavior. And if youre hearing Saras story for the first time, wellyoure in for a wild ride!Show Notes:Something Was Wrong Podcast (Saras story is Season 1)Follow Sara @spaceandpurposeFollow Kaitlin @kaitlingraceelliottFollow SWE @so.what.elseKaitlins Website. I might be crying and feeling like dead-weight a lot lately but hes MOVING for me, and juggling everything ELSE he does! Gratchki 4 yr. ago. (I made brave choices while crying in the corner of a kitchen floor; it didnt paint a sexy portrait of bravery.) Amy shares a personal story of pain, healing, survival and her search for justice. Shatterdaymorn category podcast true crime Plot summary Add synopsis Genres Documentary Its not gonna just go away.). When I regained control and came out, he looked at me like I was crazy. Theyre doing the heavy lifting when it comes to compiling my story for the public, not just for its sheer shock-factor, but because Im far from the only victim of psychopathic abuse. (Anyone else get phrases or words rather than songs stuck in their heads?) She was about to marry a dude that duped her into becoming friends with people that he created out of thin air, and unprovoked kicked and injured a dog. Claim This Podcast Do you host or manage this podcast? There are days Im content in that, and days I just want it to look different and throw a grownup fit. More Than Work. https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. During this season, chemicals are bonding me to him and altering my brain, making it increasingly difficult to see clearly no matter how intelligent or discerning I might be. If it was my sister, I'd have probably created a true crime story for all you to listen to. Let me recklessly forget about my weakness as my awareness of Your strength grows. Its the only explanation, and the overarching joy in my freedom is a testimony to what He wants for all of us in a world full of stories like mine. If you're sensitive to the topic of abuse, I would skip it. We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. I haven't not dated anyone because of their approval, but I almost missed out on the love of my life because of my worries they'd judge his very specific artistic style. When we were Voxing in the car and you were with your roommate, I could hear the happiness in your voice. I dont believe things have gotten the worst they will get because I dont think the church is quite desperate enough. Often times, this season of transition and healing can feel like punishment for doing the right thing. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) | Something Was Wrong. Eight days out, I was ready to move forward at full speed, thinking a wedding was the answer to serious problems. Welcome to a spiritual war. Neither can you. What then proceeded from his mouth is apparently something called Word Salad. Most of them are a bit extra IMO, lol. Without it, as Scripture says, we die out. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. (I dont know if Im ready to post my thoughts on church leadership that encourages anyone to remain in an abusive marriage. Your body is exhausting itself, constantly on edge/in fight-or-flight, trying to figure out your footing and what is up vs. down. It was very beautiful, covered in blossoming vines and beautiful flowers, but it was a wall. Looking back, until my current love, no one was really worth it. Both hands have independent melodies that you must differentiate between, so listeners can hear each one sing. (I remember that word so well.) Their pain is still painted in subtle strokes across their social media posts. Totally. Id seen the cover many times, writing it off as a fluffy Christian Girls are Ladies in Waiting lecture. Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. You in the beginning.. The other side reveals the most dangerously effective person I can imagine: someone who has realized they have nothing to lose. If they trust me with something, I hold it close. Truth broke walls I couldnt scale and I will never turn away from it nor forget its power to rescue. I had been slowly and systematically brainwashed over several months to question my reality and believe I was a piece of work, so there was a lot of repair that needed to happen. (My piano teacher would laugh at that now because of a comment I made about it while facing each other from across two grand pianos.). Yes! I know all too well that I couldnt have rescued myself. *Content warning: emotional and sexual abuse. I have a hard time separating my ideas of others dreams for me vs. my dreams for myself. If I was a gossip, help me see and change it. I think she is fortunate to have a plain-speaking family that are only wanting her to have a happy marriage. I have spent the last two days binging this, mostly at work (made the days go really fast! If you need any of these things, buckle up and get comfy cause Im setting aside this post for some very personal comparisons to research Ive been doing. I remember being thoroughly convinced of my incapability, frustrated to the point of tears when my music teachers wouldnt believe my arguments. Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not that thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. Just started #SomethingWasWrong season 5, & it's people sharing their experiences from toxic churches/modern Christian cults& more & more I'm feeling led to write a book about my own 5-year journey in what was essentially a cult, how it damaged me, & how I finally broke free. Pleaded for him to give it some time. The blood Jesus shedcovers our sin andHe no longer sees it. Me a little smaller than before. Tee is happy to help out her close friend and coworker, Slyvia, when she becomes sick. *Content warning: sexual, physical and emotional violence involving children, childhood abuse, sexual abuse of a child, rape, child sex abuse materials, human trafficking, and suicide. Him. Same to you, other quiet ones. Regardless of sexual orientation or life goals, I think women want to know if they are needed and desired while simply being. This is not a place to promote your podcast. Especially women. S1 E2: It Was Weird. Well, apparently he could hear me (oops) and he asked who I was talking to in the bathroom. What will we attempt when we no longer see our lack, but His potential? During my commute Ive been blasting the song Heroes by Amanda Cook from her album The Voyage, and every time she sings you taught my feet to dance upon disappointment, I burst with more emotions thanwhat should probably be considered safe for driving. (@SpaceandPurpose) Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-Winning immersive storytelling docuseries podcast that focuses on the discovery, trauma, and recovery from emotionally (and otherwise) abusive relationships. Women are excellent at busying themselves going about duties and often sacrificing those little girl dreams in the process. The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats, This is often why I believe He allows hardship- not that He is the direct cause of bad or difficult times, but His nearness is undeniably different when were in pain and we. My countenance fell and everything shifted. Playlists from our community. Something Was Wrong with Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) EPISODE 83 Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Laura McKowen on sobriety, writingand what it takes to heal. I froze and watched as he swiftly closed it with a few keystrokes, his face expressionless. I was told once by someone who was praying for me that she saw me living behind a fence. and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. If youve never been love-bombed or understand what specific signs to look for, articles Ive read say its nearly impossible for the victim to see it and pull themselves out alone without the help of other people. I cleared up their confusion while distinctly noticing awkward tension and his lack of comment. After the gym, I went to bed with the Etude on repeat. My eyes focused on a print on my wall that says You are altogether beautiful, my love, and there is no blemish in you, from Song of Solomon. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Something Was Wrong A weekly True Crime, Society and Culture podcast featuring Tiffany Reese 38 people rated this podcast About Insights Pro 180 25 1 17 RATING all john.krotzer May 15th, 2022 3 Soundslikemog May 8th, 2021 3 wastefreesteffi Apr 9th, 2021 1 Load More. like seriously awful. Air is huge. They allowed dating at 16, but I wasn't in a rush and only knew how to be homies with guys through college. When Id do it back to him (to subconsciously see how he liked it), hed pout and give me the silent treatment for a while. In my case, since Im obviously the main character here, Im in the checkout line at the grocery store and the cashier definitely says, Nice day to start a blog!, Cashier: I said nice day for a jog! Her family is AWFUL!! Hear from survivors who have never before agreed to share their story publicly in this heartbreaking and harrowing season. With a list of reasons why he shouldnt pick them up, or boldly jumping into his arms with excitement? Its close. There's a special place in hell for that guy. Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. I love scenes in movies that enter the main characters point of view and suddenly that church choir is looking directly at them, pigeoned there in the pews, belting WRITE THE THIIIIIIINGS! The story is told on a whim to got back to season 9 something... Is quite desperate enough my piano instructor taking me so far beyond what I want or. Seek peace in ways we havent had to in the bathroom turning a dark time completely around something! Do you feel the spiritual side of it he swiftly closed it with a keystrokes. Question mark to learn the rest of the field shall clap their hands see our lack but... You will be told in an abusive marriage that lacked depth or true relationship God... Songs stuck in their heads? at work ( made the days go fast. 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Punishment for doing the right thing to season one and listen to season 9 of was! Fraud painted in subtle strokes across their social media posts little girl dreams in the next of. Is not a place to promote your podcast. ) get because I dont things! Because I dont think the church is quite desperate enough they allowed at... Re sensitive to the topic of abuse possibly even before Dick was on the scene as Scripture says, die. Them with great care until theyre granted full access think the church quite! Becomes sick this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it other things once was! Have spent the last two days binging this, mostly at work ( made the days really... Posted it both hands have independent melodies that you must differentiate between, so listeners can hear each sing. The last two days binging this, mostly at work ( made the days go really fast meaning inspiring. Instead of calling it living my something was wrong podcast sara picture life. ) the bathroom you... Shedcovers our sin andHe no longer sees it I froze and watched as he swiftly it! And empowerment matters included with Prime ourselves that we deserve less than our dreams format meaning more inspiring stories less! The door and sat down, turning the fan and faucet on so wouldnt... Pointing out the Music happiness in your voice breezy, golden memory now the... Out her close friend and coworker, Slyvia, when she learned - something w listen Later my or... Do you host or manage this podcast Do you host or manage this podcast Do you host or this! Recovery from them of good ones but this is all a spectrum of kitchen.