I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. It really is muchtoo heavy for you, Madame. [Roquefort runs to the trunk and works on the combination lock. When you lift something it better be a cock. O'Malley: [Singing]I only got myselfand this big old worldBut I sipthat cup of lifeWith my fingers curledI don't worrywhat road to takeI don't have tothink of that Whatever I takeis the road I makeIt's the road of lifemake no mistakeFor me! As the butler pushes the trunk toward the door, O'Malley pushes from the other side. [looks under the sheet of his doodle pad] Umone minor note here. It does look hopeless,doesn't it? [chuckling] Just like you say, Thomas. Duchess: Why, Mr. O'Malley,you could have lost your life. [Esmeralda throws a guard's helmet at three guards on horses and it ricochets off their helmets], [In another shot, the fat guard swings his sword at his helmet and yells in pain, but we cut to Phoebus ducking under the incoming helmet, which hits the wall behind him], [A jester wearing long legged boots kicks four guards in their crotches, launching them into the air. And come to think of it, O'Malley,you're not a cat, you're a rat. Come on. Gilbert Gottfried - Aristocrats Joke. [1] It relates the story of a family trying to get an agent to book their stage act, which is revealed to be remarkably vulgar and offensive in nature, with the punch line revealing that they incongruously bill themselves as "The Aristocrats". Roquefort:[ Breathing Hard ]No trouble, he said. Gilbert Gottfried Aristocrats joke (2) VindictivePotato. The 100 Best Albums of 2022, But thats a whole other story, he deadpanned. [Chuckling] Now this calls for another cracker. And your music is so--so different,so exciting. You don't know whether to sh*t or puke in this room. The horse hits Edgar with her back legs and he flies into the trunk. a one-wheeled haystack. It doesn't matter what it's called! Jillette and Provenza tell dirty jokes. Step on the gas, Napoleon! The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. It was my favorite role. I-- I couldnever leave her. Good. Abigail: Oh, indeed, yes, sis. Abigail,Amelia & Uncle Waldo: [ Laughing ]. Duchess: Yes. [onscreen]The baggage truck willbe here any moment now. Mark Elliott: Coming this summer from Walt Disney Pictures. Go get him! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughs]Oh, Georges! Thomas is, a dear friend of ours. [ Chuckling ]. Mother's going towork for Mr. O'Malley. And aristocatic flair in what they do and what they say. Amelia: Now listen to this, I am Amelia Gabble,and this is my sister--. Something smells awfully good. And the talent agent says, "Sorry, we don't sign family acts. I've got to getthose things back tonight. The aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. I say, that's not at all bad. The cast (in order of appearance) opening song vocals maurice chevalier madame adelaide bonfamille. The garbage canswhere common kitties play. Run! Only one comedian could rival the late Bob Sagets take on the classic Aristocrats joke: Gilbert Gottfried, the gravel-throated comedian who reveled in raunch who died at the age of 67. The joke ends with the agent asking what the bizarre act is called, and the family replies the aristocrats. Edgar Balthazar: [ Shoes Squeaking ]Frou-Frou, tonight "Operation Catnapper"will be completed. Mark Elliott: Outside was a world he had only dreamed about. Edgar Balthazar:Uh, allow me, Madame. Shun Gon: Oh, boy, fellas! Buzz Lightyear: [Fires his laser, but it only flashes at the mutant toys] I've set my laser from "stun" to "murder". Edgar Balthazar: [Shoes Squeaking] If I were those mongrels, where would I find my stuff? Georges Hautecourt: And how we celebrated your success! Berlioz:[offscreen]He's sure glad to see us. O'Malley: No, no. Robbers! Duchess: Over here, darling. I know it's Georges. She plays Chopin's third movement, in B minor. Doug Stanhope: [in front of his infant child] and I push it into her unwilling anus. Not bad,eh, Frou-Frou old girl? Yeah! Georges Hautecourt: Let go of my cane, man! That's 'causeI practice all the time. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: I've asked you to come hereona very importantlegal matter. Web. Duchess:[offscreen]And, wham, when weneeded you, you were right there. You should pronounce my name correctly. Duchess: Aristocrats do not practicebiting and clawingand things like that--it's just horrible! The Aristocrats- Not Telling The Joke. Ooh! (2x). Magic carpetit's gonna be. [We cut to a pencil animation test of Genie turning into a construction worker]. So much likeour own dear England. Which pets are proneto hardly any flaws? "And basted in[ Sniffles ]white wine." He says, "Wow, that sounds good, what do you call this act?" Now what's the hang-up,your ladyship? Mac:[offscreen]Yup, and she goesall the way to Timbuktu. [We cut to Scud running to the camera barking, and Woody shrieks as the camera zooms in on his butt]. We shall fly to Parison a magic carpet,side by side. All aboard! Okay. Kittens, come along! Thank goodnessit was only a dream. O'Malley:[offscreen]Move! Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents it's all-new 37th animated motion picture. [ Forced Chuckle ]Every time. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: There now, Duchess. I'll see ya down stream. (onscreen)Please introduce yourselves to him, darlings. Brian Cummings: Coming this summer, join Kermit and his new friend Billy Bunny in their very first Muppet sing-along video: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". Guard #1: (Tries to get back up, but Achilles sits on him) Woah! Toulouse: Is there anything we can do tohelp you,Mr. O'Malley, huh? Uncle Waldo: Oh, righto, girls. Georges Hautecourt: Ah, still the softest handsin all of Paris, eh? [More silent clips are shown] Come join Christopher Robin and his best friend Pooh on an adventure through the Hundred Acre Wood. You're comin' on. Why, you'll, you'll wake upthe whole neighborhood! Coming! The husband, he plays chess with Timmy - and then the maid comes in with strawberries and whipped cream, and they all eat a nice dessert. Hugh hefner, gilbert gottfried and the filthiest joke ever toldfrom 2005 the documentary 'the aristocrats' directed by paul provenza, penn jillette In addition to detailing the history of the joke,. WebUntil gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. That's better. It looks like a serated sea snake. Now you closeyour eyesand crossyour heart. Breakfast, a la carte. Multiplied by nine times. Edgar Balthazar: Alright: The coast is clear. [gasps] Not me! Aufwiedersehen. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. It was a little oldcricket bug. A family walks in to a talent agency. Coming soon to video! [Chuckling, Sniffing] So, what is that appetizing smell? Edgar Balthazar: Could we take the elevatorthis time, sir? I've never seen you three here before. Kittens? Duchess:[offscreen]Oh, never mind, Marie. Duchess: Oh, thank goodness. Mark Elliott: But a band of notorious thieves. O'Malley: Lay some skin on me,Scat Cat. O'Malley: Oh, how sweet. Look at that bridge! They're back! Well, that's easy for, uh,for what's-his-name to say. Oh, perish the thought. Here I come! It doesn't matter if they're boys or girls they're gonna be used anyway Bob Saget: - as nothing more than a hole. Hmm? Double delicious! I like Uncle Waldo. Toulouse: Gee, Marie, why'd youhave to fall off the bridge? [offscreen]You believe me,don't you? Uncle Waldo: Dreadful! Wait for me! Amelia! [Everyone in the Hundred Acre Wood cheers for Pooh while they sit around a table] Carefully restored to it's original brilliance. What's all the yellin'about, huh? Your father is trapped within their world. O'Malley: Trouble? WebIts an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. We need a man around the house. Darling, why, that--Why, that's ridiculous. What made them think that this this was entertaining? Berlioz: Yeah, man. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Come along, Duchess. Billy Boss: Ha-ha! Berlioz: Andyou said we're gonnaride on your magic carpet. On this Wikipedia the language links are at the top of the page across from the article title. Both of you, go ahead. The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. Why, that's terrible! But right now it's time we concerned ourselveswith self-improvement. Roquefort:Don't come in! In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet. Amelia: Of course, my dear. For those who are new and are wondering about why this was necessary, read the shift in editing starting March 1st blog. That seems to make the whole joke. [offscreen]Toulouse? Say "cheese. Bob Saget: There's my friend Paul and right now I'm looking at his dinger. Thank you all. Jon Ross: Lemme tell you, when my seven year old daughter is giving my eleven year old son a blow job, it's priceless. Mark Elliott: Including the Genie, brought to life again by the one-and-only Robin Williams. Frou-Frou: Hurry, Roquefort. I'm the one that sayswhen we go. Now, you go for the tires, Laffy and I'll goright for the seat of the problem. He could have arms like Popeye. Oh, are you all right? Milkman: Sacrebleu! Now, now, my darlings. As with any other aristocrats video, this one also contains incredibly nasty profanity. Abigail & Amelia: [ Laughing ] [offscreen]That's stick together. And the talent agent says, What do you call yourselves? And the father sticks his chest out and goes, The Aristocrats. John Leader: Now, that movie can be part of your family's collection of grand Disney animated classics. [The black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video and Pixar Animation Studios logos appear]. [Sniffling][Sloshing][Splat]Yeah! You are a great talent. He's got a very huge wiener. Now, run along downstairs. [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, we fade to a black background]. Roquefort:H-How about--O' Grady? 4:04. Come on! Billy: No, but the rest is kind of hard to believe. Beda Tre. Here, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! George carlin shares his version of the aristocrats joke. Hamm: Hey, heads up, everybody. Mark Elliott: This summer, live the adventure. Andy Richter: The brother comes out. "Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar" took you beyond imagination. [2] When told to audiences who know the punch line, the joke's humor depends on the described outrageousness of the family act.[3][4]. Buzz Lightyear: [Presses the red circle button again and closes his wings] Thank you. He takes the tampon and throws it at the window and it sticks. [1] Gottfried quickly launched into the infamous WebTHE JOKE LEADS ME DOWN ONE PATH, AND THEN IT SWITCHES THE PATH ON ME SUDDENLY, AND IT HITS ME WITH A HAMMER. August 12, 2005 Obviously a philanderer who trifleswith unsuspecting women's hearts. Oh, that's thatfamous restaurant. [Genie Jafar throws a fireball at the screen, and the screen fades from white, revealing the "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves" logo] "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves". Oh, that must be him! [ Hiccups ]. [offscreen]His eyes are too close together. O'Malley: Well, uh, you seeI-l'm not exactlyher husband. Napoleon: Wait a minute. ', Earlier in the clip, Gottfried joked that he first heard the joke told by wholesome Fifties crooner Pat Boone. And it's gonna stop for passengersrighthere. I'm outta here! Girls! Oh, sorry, my dear. Tsk! Only for those aged 17 and older. Uhoh, yes. Are you sure we can'tget home tonight? Stop! O'Malley:Okay. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh, it's no use, Edgar. "Stuffed with chestnuts"? O'Malley: [offscreen]See ya around, tiger! Every member of the family, including the dog, violates one another orally, digitally, and genitally. You're justher house pets. Edgar Balthazar: What the?! Uncle Waldo: Why,I say there, now. Toulouse: But you know what? Duchess: Oh. I can walk into NBC tomorrow and say I have a dysfunctional family idea. Waldo's our uncle. Toulouse: I was havinga funny dream. O'Malley: Well, now, uh--What I meant-- You see, l--. Berlioz: I'll bet it's morethan a thousand. Penn Jillette: What do you call an act like that? Children, where are you? Nothin'. Oh, ooh, ooh! Now don't panic. All thoselittle kittens of yours, Duchess. His chin isvery weak too. I'll decide what it was. Amelia: No! Buzz Lightyear: Hey! Uncle Waldo: Girls, it's outrageous! O'Malley jumps into the trunk]. Over a hundred comedians are invited to discuss the joke and the role of taboos in humour. [Laughing]. [Humming TuneFrom Carmen]. You're going to travel first class[onscreen]in your ownprivate compartment[offscreen]all the wayto Timbuktu. Roquefort: Duchess, kittens, gone? Waving a scythe, Edgar chases O'Malley up a ladder. Marie: Oh! [offscreen]I've learned to live with 'em. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Oh, indeed I do. Will you hold on, please. Amelia: Uncle Waldo. You never hear a physicist going, "It's a muon, you c*nt!". [offscreen]Hey! Come along for rapping and roaring with some furry bears. Oh. The percussionist - I love that word, "percussionist" - is going to put his triangle, put it in front of my triangle, and "Clang-a-Lang-a-Lang Went the Trolley," just the way Momma sang it, and then, I'm gonna take the banger to the triangle and cling-a-lang it until my clitoris swells up into a large Macy's Day Parade balloon, and I'm gonna take it and stretch it out and I'm going to wrap it around the microphone cord and fling it over my shoulder the way Mommy used to do. It's very niceof you. Mark Elliott: Introducing Pixar and "Disney's Animated Storybook: Toy Story" on CD-ROM. Duchess: [Laughing]Bravo! Duchess: Oh, Thomas! I ain't done nothin'. [ Chuckles ]Not as spry as I waswhen I was 80, eh? Roquefort:Oh, boy! Two-cylinder, chain drive. WebThe Aristocrats, a documentary by magician/comic Penn Gillette and comedian Paul Provenza, follows the genesis of "the filthiest joke ever told." Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents an all-new animated motion picture event. The IT'S JUST, "HERE WE GO, FOLKS." . Scat Cat: [ Trumpet Blaring ][ Laughing ]Well, looky here. Poor Madame. Georges Hautecourt: You haven't got an extra foot,have you, Edgar? Chorus: [sings] Winnie the Pooh. O'Malley:Over there! Duchess: Oh, Thomas, that was really brave of you. [offscreen]They're gone. What is the Jawi script exactly and why did they stop using it in from www.quora.com. Backtrack a little. O'Malley: Are you sure we'reon the right street where you live? See what happens to Hitler's dick. You don't suppose--. Esmeralda: Well, you're not hurt, are you? The real joke is, it's not a What happenedto your lovely tail feathers? We gotta split! O'Malley: [sighs] Duchess, there's something I need to ask you. Frollo: [To Phoebus, unimpressed] Look at that disgusting display. Berlioz: Mama, do we have towaddle like they do? Lafayette:This sure beats runnin', Napoleon. Amelia: Yes, that's a question. [The mouse clicks the light switch, which makes the room dark. The kid starts spinning around in a circle cause he can't control it. Anyway, it's much longerthan I'd ever live. Not one single clue at all. O'Malley:You know, they need--Well, you know, a sort--Well, a sort ofa--Well, a father around. [Squeaking][Clattering] Oh! Duchess: Le Petit Cafe? For the aristocrats, the wholesome tv dad dreamt up one of the most depraved setups ever for one killer punchline. He tears himself free and forces the door open and falls over backwards. Roquefort:Oh, now, wait a minute,fellas. O'Malley:Yeah. Duchess:I'll never forget you,Thomas O'Malley. Ow! And we blow Hitler, then next episode, we bite his dick off, ha ho! I'd like to send it to the kids from the show "Full House". Scat Cat:What's a little swinger like youdoin' on our side oftown? O'Malley:Wellguess they won'tneed me any more. Edgar Balthazar: Must be round here somewhere. We're gonnafly after all! Duchess:No, no, no, I like it. This clip was included in a documentary about the joke, also called The Aristocrats, which featured various actors and comedians retelling their versions of the joke, as well as shedding some light on its origins. Lafayette: Well, where'smy beddie-bye basket!? It's like Curly in the Stooges. Get-- Get washed downa storm drain. O'Malley: It sure was,and what a finale. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:My home for allthe alley cats of Paris. Abigail: You really did quite wellfor a beginner. The zygote goes through a process of becoming an. They show aristocatic bearing. Mark Elliott: "Toy Story", the newest Disney sensation on video. Kittens! In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the Edgar Balthazar: Cats inherit first! [Screen flashes on the last note of the music, but the white screen fades to the title in front of a black background]. "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". [Woody claps for Buzz] And for Sega Genesis and Super NES, "Toy Story: The Video Game". Now, please, darling, settle down,and play meyour pretty little song. I'm the leader. We give the first few rows garbage bags. Madame isexpecting you, sir. Abigail: He takes to waterlike a fish, doesn't he? I just love them. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Careful, Toulouse! Duchess: Oh, I'm delightedto meet you, Monsieur Scat Cat. I wouldlike to see your pad,and meet your friend Scat Cat. Edgar Balthazar:Coming, Madame! Beau Weaver: And here's what's new from Disney Interactive. The Aristocrats Joke!!! Sarah silverman delivered one of the most controversial versions of the joke in the aristocrats.after an emotionally. Suchan exciting day. All of them dollars. Phoebus: She's very lucky to have a friend like you. Rita Rudner: The people are abusing each other. Duchess: You know something,Thomas, your friends arereally delightful. [Laughing]My two favorite nooses! Hugh hefner, gilbert gottfried and the filthiest joke ever toldfrom 2005 the documentary 'the aristocrats' directed by paul provenza, penn jillette. It wasn't a dream, was it? Now, Toulouse, you goand start on with your painting. This clip was included in a documentary about the joke, also called The Aristocrats, which featured various actors Abigail: [offscreen]Fancy that, a cat learning how to swim. Oh, dear. Why, oh why, is he allowing this to happen?, Editors picks So dysfunctional, it defies description. [offscreen]Any womanwould like it. My complimentsto the chef. "The Aristocrats Quotes." I-l mean, eat--Eat well, of course. He's beenmarinated in it. [Screaming][Coughing]. This is what this joke is about anyway, it's about using your kids. O'Malley: Well, some humansare like that, Duchess. [Screaming]Yeow! Champagne,dancing the night away. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Duchess? It's like a hemorrhaging sh*t-ass. Have some. And they have two children, Betsy and Timmy. And Ann suggests that they all go into the drawing room, where Ann then braids Betsy's beautiful blonde hair. Duchess: Now, Marie, darling,don't be frightened. Lafayette:Well, he didn't hurt me. A family walks in, all-American family, blond hair, blue eyes, a little son, a little daughter, a little fluffy dog. [ Singing ]Everybody's pickin' upon that feline beat'Cause everything else is obsolete, O'Malley [ Singing ] A square with a horn makes youwish you weren't born, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Every time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] But with a squarein the actYou can setmusic back, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]To the caveman days[ Scats ], O'Malley: [offscreen; singing]I've heard some corny birdswho tried to sing, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Still the cat's the only catwho knows how to swing, Billy Boss: [ With Russian Accent ]Who wants to dig a long-hairedgig and stufflike that, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]When everybody wants to be a catA square with a horn makes youwish you weren't bornEvery time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky tinky dinky, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]With a square in the actyou can set music backTo the caveman days, Marie: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky dinky tinky, Trio: [ Singing ]Yes, everybody wants to be a catEverybody wants to be a catBecause a cat's the only cat, who knows where it's atWhen playin' jazzhe always has a welcome mat'Cause everybodydigs a swingin' cat. This article is about the offensive joke known as "The Aristocrats". Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. The Aristocrats Joke Script. Napoleon:Now this is no timeto turn chicken. Where's my hat? Complete with incredible thrills Sargent: Alright, men. You ready? And then the guy goes, "The Aristocrats." Duchess:No, not at all. Look at this! "Moe, Larry, the cheese!" Edgar opens the door. Thief #1: [sings] Have lots of grubs to share! Aristocats are never found in alley Look, Frou-Frou. You know, your country chateau? Choo-choo-choo-choo,choo-choo-choo-choo. John Leader: Walt Disney had a special gift [Clips of "Pinocchio", "Cinderella" and "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" are revealed] for taking classic stories with memorable characters and turning them into magical movies. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the lovably dorky host of americas funniest home. [The claw grabs an alien and drops him down the hole, but we cut to Buzz Lightyear dancing past the Christmas tree] And plenty of surprises to discover. Hey, hold up there. Duchess! If I picked a day to fly, oh, this would be it. Just hearing out loud descriptions of giddy sh*t-covered incest. Scat Cat: Why, this is outrageous &crazy! This family, mother, father, four kids. Perhaps a magic carpet built for two? Prev Well, come along, darlings. But where? The work of a genius. [Woody and Buzz sword fight with car wash brushes, then at the next mouse click, Woody climbs up a gas tank and tries to body hit Buzz, but Buzz misses him] There are mind-challenging activities. Ahh! Gee! I can't wait. Duchess: [offscreen] It's time to practiceyour scales and your arpeggios. Amelia: Abigail, we were bornwith flat feet. Hiya, chicks. Edgar Balthazar:You came back? They start going down on each other all different kinds of combinations, there's 69, there's 29, cause the kids are young, there's 9. Marie: But, mama, do wehave sparklingsapphire eyes that dazzle too? Marie: And Marie. Abigail: Mr. O'Malley, I think youshould be the rear end. He's got nine lives. And he's like, "It's not a f***in' prop act, is it?". WebThe Aristocats! Elevators arefor old people. Duchess: Now that will do, honey. Choo-choo-choo,choo-choo. Amelia: Now, ah, listen to our idea, you stand here, dear. And aristocatic flair in whatthey do and what they say. O'Malley:Hey! I'm afraid it was justthe imagination of an old lady. Robin Williams: This is a joke that's pretty much exclusive to show business. Billy Boss: So? Amelia: And he's going about itall the wrong way. Kyle: [after Cartman finishes the joke] I don't get it. with the starsas our guide. [Laughing]Aren't you proud of me? Scat Cat: [to the others]I don't dig him. Art treasures,jewels and--. Oh, dear! Clickety-clickety-clickety. [sings] A guy so swell. Isn't she, Duchess? He could be a longshoreman. He says, "What do you do?" Toulouse: Frogs? Marie:Mama! All: [offscreen]Everybody(2x)Everybodywants to be-A Lafayette:Hey, Napoleon,that sounds like the end. It's not exactly the Ritz,but it's peaceful and quiet. Voice-over: Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! Duchess: Thomas, this is Ameliaand Abigail Gabble. Oh! 7:01. It probes the darkest, sickest places of the comedian. South Park Archives is a FANDOM TV Community. Mark Elliott: Coming to video. Toulouse: Get her, Berlioz! [ Yawns ] Come on, guys, let's go back to bed. The entire joke was a lampoon of the wealthy elite. They get the- towait. Duchess:Because of our owner. I guess youcan't win 'em all. ", T. Sean Shannon: "Well, you can't say that.". The joke has a simple setup: A family visits a talent agent to pitch him on a new act. Edgar Balthazar: [singing] Rock-a-bye, kittiesBye-bye you goLa la la laand I'm in the dough [spoken]Oh, Edgar,you sly old fox! Lafayette: He's back on the moter-thingy. Neighborhood! Why, there are a millionreasons why I should! And certainly no one can do this betterthan my faithful servant, Edgar. T. Sean Shannon: Three women of color, they go into this agent's office. These pesky pets of mine will never come back. Splendid! Berlioz: Thank you, Miss Frou-Frou,for letting me ride on your back. Duchess: Say, what brings you two here? I simply wantto make my will. Amelia: And don't worry about form, sir. [The camera zooms into the theater screen as the screen fades to black]. Marie: Oh noI wouldn'ttake up much room. Doug Stanhope: So it's finally just a whole prolapsed rectum. I got a million of 'em. Oh, no. Sounds like Scat Cat andhis gang have dropped by. But it is notquite Shakespeare. [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay. WebAristocrats Joke [OFFENSIVE] Brandon Rogers Brandon Rogers 6.23M subscribers 139K 4.1M views 7 years ago My take on the age-old Aristocrats joke. Please,you must stop that. Sarah Silverman: Joe Franklin loved The Aristocrats. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Now that leavesMr. O'Malley. WebComedians don't tell jokes. Now, dear, you goto the piano and-- Run a long. 2023. I almost fell. Last oneup the stairs is a nincompoop. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [voice]No, no, no, Georges. Oh! Helpingbeautiful dame--uh, damsels in distressis my specialty. It's warmand, mm-mm, cozy. O'Malley: Duchess, this isthe greatest cat of'em all: Scat Cat. Berlioz: [offscreen]Yeah. In that sense, its the ideal joke for a comedy documentary. Whoo-whoo! Frou-Frou pulls on a rope and the hook lifts Edgar up into the air. [offscreen]Ah. Boy: We drive and drive and drive some more. The father says to the talent agent, "Sir, our family has an amazing act. [offscreen] Now stop beatin'your gums and sound the attack! Edgar Balthazar: Of course, Madame. O'Malley: Oh, thank you. But first, introductions. And beyond! Shall we keep himin the family? And the agent's like, "What do you do?" I'll be spitting feathers for a week. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: That's right. Cassim: You don't stand a chance against the King of Thieves. Scram! Wish me luck. All Rights reserved. Anything could happento them on a night like this weather! Genie Chorus: [singing] They're eventually getting married at the festivalof Agrabaahhhh!!!! The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. Steady, girl. Ooh. Here we go. Naturellement! They get the baby halfway in so that just his legs are sticking out all kicking and flailing around, and the son takes the mother's shit out of his mouth and starts rubbing it all over everyone while the father sticks his cock in the baby's asshole and fucks it while it's still inside the mother, until he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter. Winnie the Pooh! Gives birth to a three-pound Shetland pony! Fine. This joke was met with boos and jeers of "too soon." And the agent says, "Well, what do you call them?" But, anyway, he says, "What is it called?" Hold on, Kyle. Yes. Lafayette:Okay,man, let's charge. Woody: Alright. [winks]Right off the cuff, yeah. Size nine-and-a-half. Marie: Mama,l guess I had a nightmareand fell out of bed. Toulouse, where are you? And then the rest of the band's gonna jump up and we're gonna sing "Shine Your Shoes, Shine Your Shoes." Georges Hautecourt:Very good. My bad. But that's a whole other story. Duchess: Oh! O'Malley: Come on, Duchess. Berlioz: [sighs] It's really hard to pronounce your name, man. Mark Elliott: "Muppet Treasure Island". I just want to say now if any of you people who are watching this: if you're having sex with your family I don't condone it. Aladdin: [singing] I'm eventually getting married! Oh, where am I? And I always throw in that. You know, when Pat Boone starts talking about fistfucking a dog, he really put feeling into it, he says. What a classyneighborhood. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Everything is going to be all right. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: You're a shamelessflatterer, Georges. 1 Mar. In that sense, its the ideal joke for a comedy documentary. Cartman: You guys want to hear a funny joke my grandpa told me? I'm frightfully sorry, sir! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Marie, my little one,you're going to be as beautifulas your mother. Napoleon: Mm-mm. And, Berlioz,well, such behaviouris most unbecomingto a lovely gentleman. Something horrible is happening. Look, pal, [offscreen]you go get Scat Catand his gang of alley cats. Oh, no! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Yes, yes, of course,but you know what to do. Alright? Duchess: [Laughs]"Old picklepuss who"? [Growling]. Web295K views, 1.9K likes, 423 loves, 1.2K comments, 1.4K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Brandon Rogers: THE ARISTOCRATS JOKE O'Malley: Well, of course. ' This is a family who are raping their own children and performing bestiality. Mangy tramps! Roquefort:[ Panting ] Mr.O'Malley, I've heard your name. Napoleon: Hush your mouth! 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